So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
