Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just gargled with NyQuil
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
