It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize