I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize