I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just had sex bonerless
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
