Sponge bath it is.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
