The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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