just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
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I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
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I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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