It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
