if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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