I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
