just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
that may or may not have been my penis.
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