We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
