her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
