U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
