this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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