I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
