I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize