i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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