It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why didn't you poke me back
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize