The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
