She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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