were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
As shirtless as possible
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Still dying that you shit outside
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
