There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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