I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
