whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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