I can feel you judging me through the phone.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
