I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
