just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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