What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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