i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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