We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize