Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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