He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
