then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
