I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
