you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
