last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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