I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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