All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
