just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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