I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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