Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
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She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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