Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
