i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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