I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
