I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
