Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
