She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
