I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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