My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
