And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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