you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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