She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
