idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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