sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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