It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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