just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
