Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
