Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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