i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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