I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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