What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
